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Crying Babies

 Crying babies are one of the most universal and often most exhausting experiences for parents and caregivers. While it can feel stressful, crying is simply a baby’s way of communicating needs or discomfort. Over time, it becomes a kind of language you slowly learn to interpret.

Why babies cry?

Babies' cries are mostly linked to basic needs. Hunger, a wet nappy, tiredness, or discomfort from being too hot or cold are common triggers. Babies also cry when they need closeness and reassurance, especially in the early months when everything outside the womb is new and unfamiliar.

Sometimes, too much noise, light, or handling can leave a baby unsettled. And sometimes, in spite of  everything, babies still cry without an obvious cause!

Colic and intense crying

For some families, crying goes beyond the usual patterns and becomes persistent and difficult to soothe. This is often referred to as colic. A colicky baby may cry for long periods, often at similar times each day, and appear difficult to settle no matter what is tried.

In some cases, colic can also involve feeding difficulties. Some babies may cry intensely after feeds and bring up milk (reflux or vomiting), which can add to the distress for both baby and caregiver. It can feel like nothing is working, and that uncertainty can be especially hard emotionally.

While colic is common and usually temporary, it can be very draining. It’s important to know that it is not caused by anything a caregiver is doing wrong.

How to help a crying baby?

Start with the basics: check for hunger, a dirty nappy, temperature, or signs of tiredness. Even when colic is present, these needs still matter.

Here are some ways to sooth your baby: 

  • Gentle rocking or rhythmic movements.
  • Swaddling to provide comfort and security (prevent too much hand movements which may overwhelm the baby).
  • Driving around the block with the baby in the car seat.
  • Warm bath with your baby.
  • Cooing noise to your baby.
  • White noise in the background sometimes help too.

For babies who are unsettled after feeds or bringing up milk, feeding positions and smaller, more frequent feeds may sometimes help, but it’s also worth discussing these symptoms with your maternal health nurse to rule out reflux or other feeding issues. After a feed, I used to hold my colicky daughter upright at my chest (put a towel over your shoulder first) and gently pat her back till she burped. This seemed to bring some relief to her and very quickly helped to smooth feeding time anxiety. 

Looking after yourself matters

Caring for a frequently crying babies can be both emotionally and physically draining. I know I was, as both my babies had high intolerance to a lot of things, and had very bad eczema. However, it is okay to feel overwhelmed. I was very grateful that my mum and dad came to help me when my babies were born. If you have parents or extended family, don't be afraid to ask for help. When the baby is asleep, take a short rest yourself can help reset you to cope better in the long run. 

When to seek advice?

If crying is persistent, high-pitched, or accompanied by symptoms like poor feeding, fever, unusual sleepiness, or frequent vomiting, it’s important to seek medical advice. Always trust your instincts and when it gets too much for you, seek professional help. 

Having a crying baby can make the early months feel especially intense and tiring. But it will pass with time. Just remember to look after yourself (especially if you are a new parent) and get help with looking after your baby so that you have some time to reset and reenergise yourself.

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