How to prepare your kids for exams?

Exams are and can be very stressful for student, teachers and parents. So how do parents help our kids go through this period as smoothly as possible?

Tips on helping your child prepare for exams.

1. Consistent work throughout the year. Revision and completion of schoolwork is important. Ensure your child is up to level and standard in their schoolwork and assignments.
2. Work out a routine where your child studies at the same time everyday.
3. Provide your child with brain food. Ensure your child has a rich diet of omega 3 oil (found mainly in oily fish, walnuts, pumpkins and flax seeds), food that contains choline (eggs, live and soybean) and B vitamins. Have healthy snacks available at all time. A hungry child finds it hard to focus.
4. During study, ensure your child is hydrated. Have a cup of water at hand to sip every 20 to 30 minutes.
5. Help with your child's revision. If your child is weak in a certain subject and need more help, you may like to get a professional tutor.
6. Keep a positive attitude and be a cheer squad for your child. Provide positive reinforcements and don't nag.

To Smack or Not To Smack?

This is a tough question that all parents face. Modern parenting and modern society deem smacking as a negative method of bringing up a child.

Well, the truth be told, I was brought up by a very strict and fierce mother who would not think twice about giving me and my siblings the cane to enforce proper behavior in us. My siblings and I were beaten whenever and wherever we were naughty and not behaving as my mother saw fit, which was to speak politely when you are spoken to, to not touch other people's belongings, to not accept any gifts or treats from strangers and friends without first asking her, to study hard, and to not fight with other children, even if we did not start the fight. So, my siblings and I were brought up with the strictest rules and without our voice heard at home, but did that hurt us? Frankly, I do not believe that it has. I guess in this day and time, my mother would probably be brought up for child abuse, which I would find rather silly.

And now that I am a parent myself, do I practise smacking my kids? No, not really although I have smacked my kids probably about a handful times and all for very good reasons where extremity in disciplinary action was required. The first time I spanked my daughter was when she was about three years old, and tried to poke her fingers into the electric socket many times although I held her back and said no each time she did it. So, the next time I caught her doing it,  my immediate action was to smack her really hard on her hand, and told her firmly "no"! That final action that I took shocked her, and luckily it prevented her from ever trying to do that again. My son, too has had a few caning from me, mostly for his school work and bad behavior. Normally, I would like to sit my children down to speak to them about their wrongdoings. I would give them about three chances and warnings for the same mistake or action if I catch them doing it again, before I force myself to bring the cane to smack them. This I have practised from the time my children were old enough to understand the meaning of smacking and pain, and they are both well-balanced, healthy young teenagers now. And I am glad to say, smacking punishment is a thing of the past for us, but it was very useful when they were younger.

Therefore, based on my experience with smacking, I feel that smacking, as one form of disciplinary action is good, provided it is used properly. Smacking does not mean abusive beatings. That would be totally wrong. It can only work if it is used sparingly with the right tool, in the right bodily spot, such as the hand or bottom and with young children. If your toddler were about to do something dangerous, life threatening such as playing with fire, electricity, running out to the street inspite of you trying to hold his/her hands and keep him/her by your side, then a light smack on the hand or bottom would seem appropriate to bring attention to his/her wrongdoings. On top of that, it would be wise to sit him/her down and speak to him/her until he/she understands his/her boundaries of what he/she is allowed to do and what is not appropriate. For older aged children (from the age of ten and above), I find smacking less effective, and should not be used at all. What I believe we can do as parents, is to set good practices, boundaries  and rules for our children from the day they were born, and be consistent in their upbringing in the house, so that it becomes the normal practice for them as they are growing up.

As parents, we must not stress ourselves out on what is the right or wrong ways of parenting. But we can make it easier on ourselves by learning from our parents's ways, and adapting it to suit our style of parenting. Most importantly, consistency and routine is important from day one and as they grow into teenagers and young adults, communication between parent and child should be kept open at all times.

Power of Praise

To practice positive parenting , we need to learn to give praises when our children has taken the right actions. Praising is a good positive encouragement to our children as it makes them feel good and proud that you noticed, and the good feeling would encourage them to perform the same or similar actions more frequently. Simultaneously, it also makes you feel good about yourself, and helps you to bond and have a more rewarding relationship with your kids.

The practice of praising does not only help you with positive parenting as the benefits of being able to praise honestly has many other benefits as well; as written below by Chris Widener, a personal development and leadership expert on The Power of Praising Your Family :

"Your relationship grows. Life is about relationships: family relationships, friends and co-workers. When we begin to praise people for their positive aspects, our relationships grow. It puts them, and us, on the fast track. Your leadership and influence grow. Who is going to have greater relationships: the one who tears down or the one who builds up?

Stronger relationships and loyalty. When a person is appreciated and praised, they become fiercely loyal because they know that you care for them, love them and appreciate them. This will take you to success.

Happier, more fulfilled people. I truly believe it is our job to build the members of our family up and that they need it. There will always be others who come along to tear them down; it is our job to instill in them the power of praise!

Some Ways to Praise:

Character traits. Is your wife joyful? Is your husband hardworking? Is your son or daughter honest? Then let them know how much you appreciate that in them. Say something like this, "You know, Tom, I think it is great that you are such a hard worker. You really set a good example, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that." Simple!

Action. Same idea as above. "Sue, I don't know if I have ever told you this, but I love how you always take action on the things you believe in. Thanks for that."

Other ways you can show praise and appreciation is with a card or a gift.

Make it your goal to praise every member of your family at least once each day. If you can, praise them a few times a day. It will take work, but it is possible -it just takes discipline and a little work.

Any way you cut it, there is power in praising people. If you are serious about creating healthy family relationships, this is a great place to start!" - Chris Widener.

So, if your kids  have done something wrong, explain why and correct it, but when they do something right, always be ready to praise them :)

Reading

We all realised the importance of word knowledge and the power of reading. So how do we get our kids to enjoy reading?
As a starter, I have always read to my babies right from the time I conceived. When they were born, I read to them without fail every night at bedtime. By the time, my daughter was old enough to hold a book herself at the age of about 1 year, I read picture books with her and would allow her to tell the story as she saw it in her own words. By the time she was four, she was an avid reader and is now a very accomplished speed reader (BTW, she is now 14 years old). My boy who is 12 years now, went through the same regime, and he is also an avid  reader like his sister.

The point is, we have to set example by reading ourselves (newspaper, magazines, books). We need to set aside a daily routine as reading time and make it fun as well. The best time for me and my children were and still is just before bedtime, after a nice warm bath.

We visited the libraries frequently (thanks to our wonderful councils in Australia for providing this wonderful facility) during their toddlers years and participated in the story telling and craftwork activities provided by the libraries, and have never stopped enjoying our time in the libraries; although we just pop in to borrow books now as we have a much busier schedule now with high school and other activities.

Reading is important as I believe it is the first part of the three R's regime which kids need to learn in order to proceed with the rest of schooling efficiently. So parents - don't wait any longer, start on a healthy reading habit right now with your children.....it is never too late.

I am a parent

I am a parent, and a very fortunate one to be blessed with two beautiful kids, aged 14 and 12. When my first child was born, I gave up my career to stay home, with no regrets. She was a beautiful child and easy to look after. My bonding time with her first two years were funtastic and a steep learning curve for me. When my second child was born, I was looking forward to being the experienced mum but boy, was I oh so wrong. My second child was intolerance to all food type and was given Neocate for the first two years of his life. There were constant visits to the doctor, which included my elder child who had very bad eczema. They are now in their teens and have overcome their early childhood problems and are now healthy, fun loving kids. I am starting this blog to connect with parents and also to share my experience on ways to be a fun, cool, easy parent without giving up the parenting authority, as we can only try to be the best parent we can :)